A self reflection


suddenly got this urge to blog not because of boredomness and bo liaoness.. i kinda a bo liao person.. i know.. where to start .... it's gonna be a long entry.. for those pplz not realli close to me.. or wadever.. its realli kinda a private entry.. and its boring.. and its lame... so if u dun realli know me.. dun need to read.. there are other more entertaining blog..


Back for the past few months i haf been realli a lousy person... maybe i've been thinking too highly of myself.. or requesting too much of myself...expecting to settle and do too much until i cant cope with everything i got on my hands... it tied me down... took me down .. and cause a lot of my feelings to be numb and unsatisfied...


during tt time and up to now.. i found true friends in NYP lolz...(which is realli hard ) :P.. not the kind juz tok a few crap to entertain u or juz pull u down or not close.. but actually doesnt realli bother about u kinda.. hahas.. a few realli true pplz from TEP... some of daz juniors.. which haf been realli nice and swt .. hahas.. coz they haf been keeping me entertained :P... hahas...


for those whom i nv mention... u guys are also my friends.. except i haf been swaying away from my feelings and thoughts and thinking le...tt i've been having bad temper... i wont mind anything liaox..wanna hate me jiu hate.. wanna bleahz me jiu bleahz... i wont mind liaox... i juz wanna cherish wad i haf now :D


I've been a real selfish jerk back in Sports fiesta.. everyone got their stress.. their workload.. their life.. i've onli been thinking about mine back then... nvmx... i've juz cause myself to suffer.. confuse further... tt i became greedy.. evil.... i juz cant control myself with the stress and pressure the pplz around me haf been giving.. maybe i'm juz incapable.. not strong enough.. to handle it...


to the point where i drove her to blacklist me.. hahas.. and even wrote stupid stuff ... (well, i good at self-destructing... destroying everything around me.. super extremely good at it... destroying everything around me tt meant a lot to me) was scared at tt time... but wadever... i dun ask for forgiveness.. or any chance to for wadevers... i dun intend to and dun expect to haf...


somethings sometimes juz giving and not expecting is the right thing to do... i've got no rights to expect anything anyway .. hahas ... one thing is true and tts at tt time ... my heartbeat stopped becoz of ya..


its starting to sound disgusting..


hahas... yucks... puiz...


right now.. wad i wanna say ... even though my life is still kinda sway... still lotsa mess from the past... but clearing them up le... haahs... i haf always got good friends around me.. and lucky to haf them...


realli feel tt my life is meaningful buying presents for everyone .. and eating ice cream discovering secret relationship of others.. hahas.. dun know y this kinda stuff always let me fa xian(discover) :P dun worry !! i keep them a secret :P hahas.. realli happies to see this kinda stuff happening around me.. hahas.. see my friends happy.. realli let me feel that my life at least now has some reasons or meaning ..


somehow grown mature a bit liaox this IPP... not so easily fret up.. waiting for juniors is a good thing to train my patience :D learning more about someone is realli interesting.. cause as u learn more about others..u learn more about urself... i guess i've been suffocating in my world and all the horrible/sad happenings of my realli good friends..


now i'm more relaxed ... happpies .. and realli da chong xin li de kai xin.. ( true from my heart happiness) thanks to some to name .. xiaoling ( mummy ) who has been a great mummy tt haf been entertaining me.. Yuan zhi who runs with me.. shiling... though u recently realli bo xin.. but since today ur b'dae.. :P .. juniors esp wei siong who is very entertaining.. clement who is realli trustworthy... david.. who wans a dream team :P but also quite fun wei hong the one who quite onz le :P jin hui who provides entertainment... kenken.. the evil one.. grace the dun show the evil one.. hahas:P these juniors i wanna thank .. coz they haf been realli giving me company and
entertainment thruout my boring life... hahas...

thnks for hafing meetings at 7.. getting presents for everyone ..

pei me lunch or dinner etc..

hafing interesting outings and interesting conversation

and interesting stuff to do so i could laugh about :P


not forgetting weiming and hui ping :P weiming whom i discover something BIG :P which makes me realli excited... hahas.. all the best !! hui ping for chatting with me in msn etc.. realli makes me realise a lot and rediscover a lot about my life i've forgotten... friendship.. my life of no misforture..

i realli sincerely appreicate all ur company...

though all these is nothing much to ya....

it really means alot to me...

esp those names inside.. hahas ...

when my pay come.. can come claim free meal from me.. hahas..

u all must cont to entertain me... hahas.. if not my life realli sianx :P

for those not mention...
guess u guys are too buzi with ur life tt u cant entertain me.. so u cant blame me for not including u in this...

long boring speech ended :P

late for lunch with clement :P

hope everyone stays cooLz...

ChiLLz,
kai way